Dear Young Rebecca...

A friend posted a PSA on her Facebook wall the other day titled, "Dear 16-year-old Me." It focused on individuals who had messages for their younger selves, ultimately bringing to light the tragedy of skin cancer (melanoma).  I, in turn, posted it on my Facebook "wall" because I was so moved by the piece. Plus, my thinking was (is), that if it made one person pay closer attention to something that wasn't quite feeling "right," -- whether it is something "off" in your skin, or "off" in your general well being -- then it was well worth the post.

I haven't been able to get the PSA out of my mind...mostly because a few days later, during a conversation with my sister, we were talking about what we would tell ourselves if our 40-something selves (present-day self) could travel back in time and chat with our younger (20-something) selves.  That particular conversation focused a lot on telling myself to save my money and not buy that ridiculous pair of parachute pants at The Limited...but that is another story (perhaps for another blog!) But it did get me to thinking in regards to my recent weight loss and walking this current path I am on...is there anything that I would like to go back in time and tell my 16-year-old self?

During a family dinner a few weeks ago, Libby asked me if there were anything I regretted, anything that I would go back in time and correct in my life if I could.  The truth is, I have made so many mistakes on this life journey that I don't even count anymore...but my belief is that regrets are lessons not learned (ok: so I also read that somewhere..but it resonated!)...so I really don't have any regrets, and I can honestly say I don't believe in regrets.

What I do believe is that all of those mistakes that we make along the way are what help to build the foundation -- along with the right choices too, of course! -- for who and what I am today.  And I believe that those "mistakes" can actually be drawn upon now (or maybe later) to possibly help someone else who may need some guidance. If I'm lucky, maybe I've been in a similar situation, and maybe I can shed some light on the "right" direction to go...So, ultimately, no, I wouldn't go back and change anything, even if I were given that magical opportunity.

However, with all of this said, there are a few things I would like to go back and let my 16-year-old self know.  Just to let them sit and simmer in her consciousness, or perhaps tap into them when she needs them.  So, here goes:

Dear 16-year-old Me:

First, I want you to know that you are beautiful.  I know you don't always feel it, but the truth is, you are truly an extraordinary human being.  I know that there are things that you would change about your physical appearance (no, your hair is never going to be Casey's color...and no, it's not ever going to be straight...no matter what you do to it!), but you are beautiful.

Second, I want you to know that you are really smart. I will grant you that you are probably *not* ever going to be a math genius, but you are a really good writer, and you have a true talent for helping people to see things in a way they haven't even thought of looking at things yet. 

I would also like for you to know that although exercise is a giant pain in your butt, and you think there are tons of other, more fun things to do...go ahead and get on that treadmill/bike/mini-trampoline (heck! do Mom's Jane Fonda workout tapes!), and work up a sweat. Do this every day. Do not miss a day. Trust me when I tell you, you will thank me later!

Remember that eating is to be enjoyed.  If you have a bite of chocolate souffle, savor it.  Good food actually does not come along as often as you'd think...there are a lot of "meh" foods out there...but truly delicious, home-made, savor-worthy food...it really doesn't come around often.  And I happen to know that that chocolate souffle is worth every single delicious bite. 

And, 16-year-old Me? Do me a favor, would you? If you are happy, just go ahead and be happy. If you are sad, go ahead and be sad.  Do not use that "meh" food to make the happy or the sad any less than it is.  Feel it, experience it, and then LET IT GO.  Don't keep it.  Feel it, and then let it go.  It's okay...I can assure you: there are more happy and sad things coming, and some of them will make you happier and more sad than you can even imagine right now.

Lastly, Me, go ahead and BE YOURSELF.  Whoever you are, whatever you are...just BE.  Because you know what?

You are amazing.

Finding the Why

....and no, I'm not talking about your local YMCA, although that may be something that helps you once you "find your why!"

This past weekend, I stumbled across several health specials on the OWN (Oprah's) network.  It used to be that when I would stumble across such programming, I would stumble right on along. I mean, I know that I have health issues - do you really know anyone who's over 50 pounds overweight (and I'm more than that, but working on it!) that DOESN'T have health issues? Obesity is pervasive...it's not just that you can't fit into your favorite pair of jeans: it's that you can't walk up two flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.  Anyway, of course, this time: I was absolutely glued to these Bob Greene (love him!) and Dr. Oz specials on obesity and weight loss.  What was the most interesting to me was not the methods employed by the specialists, but instead, WHY.  Something about the connection between doing something and why you do that something clicks for me.

When I first met with Dr. Ann (the nutritional specialist in Charleston I'm working with), the whole reason I went up there was because I'd been meeting with nutritionists here locally, and because I have been dieting for the majority of my life, I already knew the information that they were trying to impart. Not only knew it, but could probably have taught them a thing or two! When I realized this, I panicked (complete meltdown)! How on earth was I even going to begin to accomplish the goal of finally releasing all of this extra weight (and I knew then as I know now, this is my time) if I didn't have someone who could guide me on this path...who could tell me WHY I needed to exercise; WHY I needed to eat protein instead of that bagel...So I spoke with my most trusted advisor (my mother, of course!!) who steered me in the direction of Dr. Ann.  I knew that Dr. Ann would be able to direct me - what I didn't expect was that she would not only direct me and educate me, but that she would show me the WHY behind every directive.  There are actual chemical and complicated physiological reasons to eat this and that in combination (I shall leave it to Dr. Ann to explain this to you too - she has a great website: http://www.drannwellness.com/ that is incredibly informative and helpful).  Ah, at last...the WHY.

However, that is not the only WHY that one needs to find when finally deciding to release pounds. And I'll tell you, I have found this to be true when talking to men and women who have successfully dropped a hundred or more pounds, and I have found it to be true with those men and women who have successfully rid themselves of that annoying ten pounds as well...you must find the WHY that the weight got there in the first place.  Find that WHY and discover WHY you are finally ready to release the extra weight, and you will find success. 

For me, I'm still working on finding my WHY...

Good news: I do have my WHY as to why I am finally ready to release this weight. I actually, through my health scare earlier this year, was forced to realize and recognize something that actually tasted better than all the sugary s&^t I was putting in my mouth -- tasting and savoring each moment that I have with my three children and my husband whom I adore.  Thinking that I was going to lose them, these people who I dreamt of for so long -- who I wanted to be a part of my life from the time that I was a little girl and could dream of being a "Mommy" and a "Wife" -- thinking that I would risk losing them and my time with them because of what I was putting in my mouth...well, there's my WHY. Even typing it now it sounds so ridiculous that one would even remotely put something so precious in danger like that!!  Ridiculous that I had to have my "cage rattled" to such an extent as to risk losing my time with them forever...Yeah. Non-negotiable.  I plan on savoring every moment I have with each of them, and on savoring moments with future grand-babies, and God willing, great-grand-babies. 

As for the "why" that I actually put on all the weight in the first place, well, that is an on-going search for truth. But it becomes more clear to me every day that I choose to walk on this healthier path, and I have no doubt that as I continue to peel away the pounds, I will find more answers to this particular question.

For now, I am happy to walk this path, adding new friends, coaches and supporters along the way.

Lovin 'Em and Leavin 'Em...

Greetings!! It has been a while since I have written, and I have missed you all!! May is always a crazy time in our family…wrapping up things at school, preparing the children to go to summer camp, and all of that on top of life as we know it.  But, I’m back, and I’ve been thinking of a few things I’d like to say, so I hope to have some more frequent blog entries in the upcoming few weeks.

For now, I really wanted to focus on one of my most favorite (and, to me, one of the most important) things that I have learned so far in this journey, and that is how to “love ‘em and leave ‘em” – and no, I am not talking about people! --  I am talking about those foods or dishes, or your Aunt Hattie’s homemade chocolate soufflé…those things that truly are a once-in-a-blue-moon special treats.  Whether it’s that you only see Aunt Hattie once a year and you truly look forward to eating that soufflé, or whether it is that you are in a place on a vacation or trip and you want to truly experience the culture there (or, as in my case, you really, really want to go to the restaurant that someone recommended and when you get there, the menu is so delicious you just want to run in the other direction instead of having to actually look at it and make good choices.)  Please note: I stayed, I made awesome choices and I enjoyed the *heck* out of that meal!! 

As you all know, I have changed my lifestyle and eating habits dramatically in the past four months.  This means that I traded my cupcakes for kale; my candy bars for 85% dark chocolate, my coffee for green tea, and so on and so forth!  And here’s the bottom line, folks:  this is not something you can do half-way. You’re either in or you’re out.  You can’t do it some times. You have to do it all the time.  Yes, that’s right: EVERY SINGLE DAY, and, quite frankly, every single meal.  And that’s just it, bottom line, in a nut shell – otherwise, there is no way to truly achieve optimal health

Now, please note -- this does NOT mean that you will never ever have that cupcake (cookie, chocolate truffle, etc , etc) again.  There is no way that I could have made the major changes that I have made in my diet, nor make the choices that I make on a daily basis in regard to food (and for those of you who know me, you know that the eating part of this is not what has been the hard part for me – the exercise IS an ongoing issue for me…but one I am working on on a daily basis!) and think that I would never have another cupcake (my vice of choice…we all have one).

Here’s the deal:  iIf I really, really, want a cupcake, then I actually do have a bite (I usually take the whole thing & cut it into quarters – then I have a quarter and decide if I want another; usually (much to my surprise – lately, every time), the answer is no.  Then I go on my merry way, eat my kale with my dinner,  drink my water and get back on track – by doing all of this,  the treat becomes a momentary enjoyment, something that has a “been there, done that” kind of feel. By doing this, I am enjoying myself, (side note:  a recent trip to Charleston brought a few opportunities to indulge – while I did have a wonderful bite of a home-made lemon crème pie,  the truth is, after I had it, I forgot about it…) but in still staying with my “program” (diet, whatever you want to call it…I call it my life!), it becomes something that makes me even stronger the next time I happen to be in a situation where temptations are present.   

This love ‘em and leave ‘em approach to dessert (for me, this is my touchy point…for you, it may be  french fries or something of that ilk) is something that is brand new for me.

Five months ago, here’s how the scene in the restaurant would have gone:  I probably would NOT have had that bite of the lemon crème pie, but instead would have said, “No thank you,” gone back to the hotel and eaten numerous cookies or what have you in an attempt to quell the memory or desire for dessert.   And then I would have carried that idea of that dang lemon crème pie (and I’m not much of a fruit-dessert lover, so it’s not even anything I would really have wanted in the first place, but by turning it down, I would make it an object of desire) with me for the next two or three weeks, eating everything else in the meantime. 

Instead, I have now learned to decide if I really want something, then I have a bite, savor the treat, and then, blessedly! , I am able to LEAVE IT THERE.  I no longer carry the desserts or foods that I don’t eat home with me!  I cannot begin to tell you the amount of freedom I feel by not doing this any longer.  It truly is one of the best things I have learned so far in this journey! And, believe me: I have learned soooo much!

But, I will tell you:  of all the lessons I’ve learned (and I hope to pass even a few of them on),  it is truly awesome to know that there is no dessert going home with me in any shape or form whatsoever anymore: not in a “doggie bag,” not in my purse, and most definitely, not in my mind!!

And that, my friends, well, that is a true move forward.  

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”

 ~Lao Tzu,  Founder of Taoism